Friday, July 11, 2008

How deep is your love?

Viewer Discretion Advised. Long Post. But Adviced to read!! ^^

First and foremost. I wana apologise to doreen for not heading to school with her. If i had not know earlier that Loui might not be going. I wouldnt have told my parents and went to school.
I dont know who went to school in the end though. So very sorry pretty.

Is it wrong to want to understand someone? Well, i know it aint easy trying to understand a person. He/she might be pretty predictable. But there will always always be a certain part about them that you will never understand or be able to predict.I believe that persons are to be loved, not used. Each person should be valued and appreciated as unique and special, with his or her own gifts and talents.A person might be really nice to you. But please, dont ever take that kindness for granted and climb on top of her head. Because what you're doing is that, you're killing her/him softly and slowly. Not physically but emotionally and mentally.Basically, like that talk said everyone of us have our own Beliefs. Our Beliefs will then lead to our atttitudes and then our Characters.As for my beliefs, I've always believed in Karma. And also believe that If you treat someone nicely, he/she should respect you in the same manner and treat you the same. However, what i really hate the most is people that take one's kindness for granted.Which comes back to my other beliefs (Karma) that he/she will get that taste of his own medicine someday.It's only a matter of time.Also, i happened to chance upon one of my cousin's blog. She's 21 and married. And was intrigued by one of her posts. Nice post Sharmini. You guys should read this one.^^

What is the difference between infatuation and love. It was not easy for us to explain. Often we observed that even many of our adult friends could not distinguish between these two.

Finally, we come up with this simple yardstick. Infatuation is self centered while love is other centered.

When I was first infatuated with my husband, these feelings of panic, uncertainty and insecurity often creped up slowly and surfaced unannounced when I saw him speaking or having fun with other girls. I often felt jealous, impatience when he was not with me and had these feverish excitements when I was going to meet him. I recalled that I was thrilled that he was my boyfriend yet not really happy, hoping to trust him yet apprehensive.

There were always these lingering, nagging reservations about him and his love for me. I felt miserable when he was away and felt as if I was not complete unless I was with him. As he had many female companions around him. I felt very very insecure and could not trust him. However, loved it whenever he assured that i was the only one for him. I personally feel that in a situation like this. Assurance is needed all the time. It could get irritating that you need to assure the other party all the time. But what harm can a little assurance to your love ones do?

We have observed that if couples who are “in love” remain at this stage, the relationship will not last long and if they marry most probably the marriage will end up in a divorce.

Infatuation must be allowed to develop into love in order for a relationship to be successful.

Of course, the million dollar question is what is love and how is it different from infatuation?

I discovered that when I was in love, I want my boyfriend then,(husband now) to be happy, and I accept him as who he is. And appreciate some aspect of his characters like his care and concern for others etc.

I remembered I was contemplating on joining a religious order when I first knew my boyfriend then (husband now). If he has tried to dissuade me, or wanted me all for himself, then I might have rejected him. Instead he allowed me to explore other avenues and explained that if he love me, he must set me free. If I return, I would be his but if I never return, I was never his to begin with.

For the first time, I began to experience what love was. It involves working for the other person, for his or her benefit. And not for your own benefit. It is about the persons wants. Not your own. You have to think about her feelings and think in her point of view. Not yours. It is never easy to love. That i must say. However, once you have graps the knowledge about love. You will see life in a different way.
Over time, our love for each other foster a sense of security and a feeling of trust. I no longer felt jealous when he communicate with other girls as I feel secure in his love.These years together has taught us that love tends to last while infatuation may change with the wind. Love demands that we are committed to each other and therefore provide stability in the relationship. If i must, let me wrap this up in a summary.

Love is about the other party. When one is single, we are then obliged to think about ourselves and our own wants, But when one is in a relationship. The two partys becomes one. And Instead of thinking about ourselves. We have to treat the other party as ourselves. It works both ways. You think about your partners feelings and wants. And she thinks about yours. And walah, thats what love is all about. Wanting the best that you can ever give/ do for the person that you love.And not being self centered.

My key to a perfect relationship?

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